Are You The Queen?

Here I am, ready to rant again.

SO, Friday, I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a prescription for #1.  (Nothing major, she just takes 1 ml of re flux medicine a day.  It's pretty important, but she's not sick or anything.)  In our recent move, the closet Wal-mart is always busy.  And the pharmacy is insane.  Because I was a slacker I hadn't ordered the prescription refill until we were out of the medicine.  At the time of this story, #1 had missed 2 doses of her medicine.  She was not a happy camper.

There I am, waiting in a super long line to pick up #1's prescription.  It was just me, and because #1 had been asleep when I first got there I was carrying her in her car seat.  So, she was heavy.  But of course as soon as I got in line, she woke up.  I didn't want to pull her out, cause then I couldn't carry her, the diaper bag, and the empty car seat.  Instead I was crouching on the floor, holding a pacifier in her mouth and rocking the car seat back and forth.  It wasn't really working.  She still hated it.  And she was screaming!  I'm slowly moving up in the line, trying very hard to take care of my screaming baby.  It was quite stressful.  Then, finally, I was next in line!  I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Then, a dark cloud covered the pharmacy, and an evil woman swooped down.  (Ok, not really, but that's how it should have happened!)  She walked over to the drop-off window and I heard her say, "Hi, I need to pick up a prescription." To which the employee responded, "Sorry, ma'am, but this is the drop-off window."  Miss Queeny then flashed a flirtatious smile and said, "Yes, I know, but I'm in a hurry, and I didn't want to wait in that long line, so I thought you could help me here."  She was told no, and so she started walking towards the pick-up area.

Right as this happened my turn came up.  As I went to pick up the car seat, evil-selfish-I-Think-I'm-All-Important-woman rushed in front of me with a quick smile and a "sorry" and butted in line.

EXCUSE ME???  I was in too much shock to really say anything.  The Wal-mart employee didn't care and helped her first.  

Um... Hello!!!  Do you see me?  I've been waiting in line for 20 min!  And my daughter is screaming!  And you're mean!  I don't care who you are, get in line crazy lady!

After she was done she turned to me again, and said, "Thanks for letting me go first, I'm just in such a hurry, I'm on my lunch break."

To which I replied "I didn't let you.  You jumped in so fast that anyone with less than lighting speed reflexes had no choice, you selfish mean lady."  (Ok, I didn't say that.  But I wanted too!   I think what actually came out was, "Uh... er..."  Yep, I'm that good.)

I don't know where this lady got off.  That was just mean.  I'm sorry that you are in a hurry.  But if it is now your lunch break and it is only 2 PM and the pharmacy doesn't close till 9 PM I'm sure you could have come later!

I was very unhappy.  

Digital Can Be A Bummer

I've always been a bit camera happy.  This was a problem growing up.  If I got a hold of a camera, you could be sure the film would be all used up in a matter of minutes.  I remember getting my very own camera.  It was red, and had no back til you put the film in it.  It was the COOLEST thing ever.  My dear sweet Mom had a hard time finding the balance between keeping me in film and throwing her money down the drain because most of my pictures were worthless.

Then came digital.  I was a bit slow at being able to get on the bandwagon, but it rocked my knee-highs.  I could take all the pictures I wanted without it being a waste!  Life had joy.  (Well, for lots of reasons life had joy, this was just one more.)

And now, I am blessed to have a beautiful daughter.  (Just go with me, I'll connect it in a minute)  She is so wonderful.  She has started this thing that when she smiles and she really means it, one side is much bigger than the other.  In fact, one side will get so big that she has to close her eye.  This result in the CUTEST wink/smile face that I have ever seen in my life.  I can't help but smile and laugh when she does this.

But, I can't get a picture of it.  Every time I try the digital delay misses it.  The wink/smile never lasts very long.  And every digital camera that I can afford has just enough delay that I can't seem to catch it.  It really is such a bummer.

Oh, digital.  Such a fickle friend.

The Perfect Storm

Isn't that the name of a book or something?  About how everything lines up just perfectly to make everything wrong?

Well, that's not what I mean today.

I really quite like snow.  However, last winter I lived in the frigid north, and I didn't love the snow.  Once it snowed in early November, it was cloudy, slick, cold and wet through most of March.  After three months all snow should be banished to the North Pole.  No, really, they like it up there.  It helps hide Santa's workshop.

Anyway, though I live in a place known for "The Greatest Snow on Earth" (just ask the licence plates) we haven't had any snow yet.  That made for a very brown Christmas, but with all of the traveling I was doing, I was actually quite grateful.

But last night it snowed!  And it was done snowing before 8:00 AM.  So then the snowplows were all out doing their business.  Just after 9 I went to the store, and the roads were decent.  But then, the sun came out! And then the roads were great!  And the world looked beautiful!  And we didn't have to die cause of dangerous conditions.

It was perfect.

So, here's to you, Mr. Perfect Snow Storm.  Please come again.

Oh, and in other news, I cut my hair.  I'm still working with the styling, but today it looked like this:

(Please ignore all post pregnancy blemishes... I feel like a teenager)

AND today I made a Cafe Rio Sweet Pork Salad knock off.  And it was pretty darn good.

Pintrest.  It teaches you great things.

Being a Little Serious

Ok... maybe a lot serious.

I love #1.  I love her more than I ever imagined loving someone besides Hod.  Motherhood is one of the best things in the world.

And that's what I tell everyone.

That's what they want to hear.  That is what they expect to be true.  And it is true.  But there is another side.

When you deliver at the hospital that I did, they give you a movie called "The Period of Purple Crying".  We were supposed to watch it, but I thought I knew what it was about, so I just never got around to it.  But lately I've been more curious.  I thought it was just a movie that talked about babies crying and about how to prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome.  And it is... but it is about more.  Last night, I spent quite a while on their website found here.

See, #1 cries.  A lot.  And it's not like some babies who have health problems that cause the crying.  And there is no real pattern.  She will start and stop for no reason.  Well, she doesn't often stop.  Yesterday (and I'm not exaggerating) from 9 AM to 8:30 PM #1 would sleep for under 15 min, and then wake up and cry until she fell back asleep, and then repeat.   All day long.  And this isn't the first day.  This happens at least 3 days a week.  Everyone thinks they know what it is like.  Everyone thinks they know what is wrong.  I've heard a lot of it, it's re-flux (which she does have), it's colic, it's a way to wind down at the end of the day so she can sleep, she's in pain, she's just an ornery baby, I've heard a lot.

But she's not sick, I asked the doctor.  And she's not in pain, I can tell cause that cry is different.  And it's not re-flux, cause she's on medicine for that and I can tell a difference when I forget to give her the medicine.  But still I feel judged.  When I take her to the store people glare at me when she cries, or offer their advice because they know exactly what is wrong with my girl.

It's Purple Crying.  It has no reason.  It has no pattern.  It has no explanation.  It's just really hard.  I have never wanted to do anything to hurt #1 to get her to stop.  And yes, when it gets to be too much I put her down and walk away.  But often I just join her.  Holding her, rocking her, crying with her.  Wondering what is wrong with my baby.  Wondering why she doesn't like me because she seems to do better with other people. Wondering how much longer I can take the constant crying.

Sometimes I wish I was still pregnant (but this isn't postpartum that is a whole different story.)  just because I can't handle the crying.  Sometimes I wish I could leave and get away.  I look forward to the days that I have known that I was going to go see my Mom because then I knew I could have a break.  As much as I love her, I just couldn't handle it anymore.

Hod has tried to help, but usually after being home for an hour he can't handle it anymore so he gives her back to me.  I've felt that there must be something wrong with me.  When I've mentioned it to others I'm usually told that I have it easy.  Other people have had sick babies who cried a lot.  But I can handle the crying when there is a reason.

So, that's the truth.  That is how I am doing.  Not great.

However,  last night Hod gave #1 a priesthood blessing so she would be able to stop.  And today hasn't been perfect, but she's been able to sleep for more than 15 minutes.  I know eventually it will stop.  So I'll keep going.

Sorry to be so serious.  I just thought I'd tell you all the truth.

He's Great

This morning, Hod had to run to work to give his manager some keys.

He came home, and I heard him banging around in the kitchen.  He made me breakfast.  It was so sweet.

Then, he picked up #1, and said, "We're going to go lay down for a while.  Do whatever you want, I'll take care of #1 for you."

What??  I get all morning to myself to do whatever I want?  I'm pretty sure that means I should be productive, but instead I'm blogging.  I don't really know what to do with myself... but it's glorious anyway.

I love Hod.

Merry Christmas To Me!!

I just got myself the coolest Christmas present ever

About 3 weeks ago, I was looking on a local website at free stuff.  And there was an item that I really wanted!  But it was late at night, so rather than calling the giver, I e-mailed.  And someone else had beat me to it by 45 minutes.  Lame!

Then, about a week and a half ago, Hod found a very similar item for only $20.  He was on his way to go pay for the item, thus reserving it, and someone showed up 10 minutes before he got there and took the last one.

Then today, I saw a similar item in the free section of the local website.  And it had only been posted online for 13 minutes.  I took a risk and called the guy.  (Which is big for me, cause I don't call strangers.)

Someone had called him 2 minutes earlier and claimed the item.

SERIOUSLY???  LAME!

But then... Mr. Kind-Giver-Of-Goodness asked me if he could keep my number in case first want-er backed out.  I said yes, but I knew that the first want-er wouldn't back out.  I mean, it's pretty rockin' awesome!

I was sad.  But really, first I missed it by 45 min... then 10 min... then 2 min... so next time it would be mine, right?

Mr. Kind-Giver-Of-Goodness just called be back.  The first want-er backed out!  So guess what I'm getting!!!!

(I was going to put a picture... but I can't find a good one.)

A PIANO!!  It's smaller than normal with about 77 keys instead of 88.  And it needs to be tuned... And no one has any idea how old it is...but it's playable, and it's free!

Now I just have to find some people to help me go pick it up.

I'M SO EXCITED!!!

Do-be-do-be-do

It's 6 AM, and I am awake.  For those of you who know me, you will find this odd.  I like to sleep.  Really.  Often, when given the choice between a fun party and a good nap... I'd prefer the nap.  Yeah, there may be something wrong with me.

Hod likes to sleep even more than I do.  He has helped me to enjoy sleeping even more.

But then #1 was born.

She is super cute, and I love her, but she is totally messing with my sleep problems.

Like tonight.  She woke up to eat just before 4 AM, nothing wrong with that.  She's a bottle baby, and I used to feed her while I was sleeping, but I kept waking up in a pool of formula only to find #1 asleep, that she had stopped eating a while ago, and was now feeding the bed.  I only own so many sheets, so something had to change. So, now I wake up to feed her.  I don't let myself fall asleep.  This normally results in me being awake for a while after she falls back asleep.

Also, the whole labor/delivery thing has kind of destroyed parts of my body.  It's been 2 months, and we just figured out what was wrong with me 3 days ago.  After being awake to feed #1, my body with it's post delivery ailments started acting up.  A hot shower, and 70 minutes later, I was finally able to start drifting off to sleep.  (this was just after 5:30 AM)

I have been Hod's alarm clock our entire marriage.  However, there have been times that I haven't been around so he has had to wake himself up.  This involves setting everything with an alarm, and making sure the volume is up high.  This last Monday morning I was staying at my parent's house because I had a Doctor's appointment 52 miles away from where I now live.  Hod had to be to work by 7:30 AM, so he had to set all sorts of crazy alarms.  The alarming devices have been turned off the past 2 nights.  But, tonight, he forgot to turn them off.  And the alarms were still set.

This means, that right after I was drifting off to sleep, a crazy loud alarm went off.  He slept through it (He has mad sleeping skills.  It's like a super power with him.) but it woke me up.  I calmed myself down, only to have another alarm go off 20 min later.

It is now 2 1/2 hours since #1 woke up to eat.  She wakes up about every 3 hours.  (I can actually already hear her starting to stir.)  She had a rough evening, and didn't actually go down for the night til 1 AM.

So, here I am, now it's 6:20, and I have only had 3 hours of sleep.

I have got to figure out some other way to handle life, cause sleep is no longer an option.

But, on the plus side, I have some fun songs in my head!

Well, That's A New One...

This is a repeat to any of my Facebook friends.  But I just had to share.

Tonight I lost my phone.

I've done that before, but I just waited for Hod to get home, and then he would call it, and it was all good.

But now that he is living 52 miles away, working until I can pack up the apartment and join him, I would be waiting a long time for him to get home.

I posted a message on Facebook asking friends to text me so I could find it.  And my friends did!  I was so happy.  I could hear my phone... but it was nowhere to be found.  And it kept buzzing, and it kept buzzing, and I kept looking.  It was a little muffled, so I knew it was under something.

No matter where I looked, I couldn't find it!  (I even looked in the garbage, wondering if in my sleepy stupor I had thrown it away.)

Finally as a last resort, knowing that it was totally impossible, I looked under #1's sleeping form.

And there it was!

I have NO CLUE how I got my phone in the swing and under #1.  Nor do I know how she slept through the sound and vibrations going off over and over.  But she did.  And I found my phone.

Wow... Mommyhood has some special moments.