Hello friends! So, since I have brought all of you with me on this little trip, how about I tell you all about what happened?
First of all, I did end up having surgery yesterday. (What did you do yesterday?)
Let's talk about how I feel about this.
1. This means I am no longer pregnant. I lost the baby. This is very sad. Cause I loved this little one. And besides a few ultrasound photos that made my baby resemble some sort of alien creature, that is all I'll ever have.
1. Heavenly Father has been helping me a lot. I don't know why this had to happen. But I know it's his plan. That doesn't stop the sadness, but it does make it somehow ok.
2. Growing closer with Hod. This has been really hard. Because Hod and I are living in this city hours away from family, we haven't had anyone else to turn to. So, even though it's been rough, we are closer.
3. Being done with this issue. Really. I have been worrying, and stressing, and doing everything I could to keep this baby, knowing that there wasn't anything I could or couldn't do.
4. *WARNING, BIG SHARING PENALTY AHEAD* though I haven't been bleeding for the past 3 weeks, I have had what we have named the brown mucus of death. Instead of blood, this has been coming out. There are some theories that I at one point was pregnant with twins. If that is true, I actually had a miscarriage about 3 weeks ago. And my body has been decomposing Jr. #1 for weeks. Hence the smell of death coming from me on a constant basis. Which is really not fair when you have a pregnant nose so every time you use the restroom you smell death.
So, to recap... This has been sad. But Hod and I both agree that we are glad it's over. We have been so stressed about all of this for a month. And now, we're done.
Surgery was fine. I was completely unconscious. There were no complications. I felt wonderful yesterday, I took some ibuprofen last night before I went to bed, because I've been told that the pain comes a while after the surgery. So I took some just to make sure I could rest well. There wasn't any pain last night, and there hasn't been any today. I'm pretty tired, but I feel great. My mom came up to be with me because we didn't know how I would be, and really, it was kind of like just having a fun sleepover with my mom. And I had an excuse to be a little lazy. That's kind of nice.
So dear friends. I'm good. I've gotten a lot of comfort from the one true place you can get it. And life is good. Thank you for all of your prayers, I know they have helped. But know that I'm good. This will all be fine. I love you all!