Tuesday, August 2, 2011

That Was A Strange One

Last night, Hod and I were visiting some friends, and I started having an allergic reaction.  I discovered my first food allergy in 2003, and I'm quite aware of my body when it comes to food and possible reactions.  Did you know you can have an allergic reaction to something you ate 72 hours before?  After much contemplation, I realized that the only unusual thing (Or I can have a reaction when I eat a large quantity of a food... but I hadn't done that) that had entered my body were some crackers I got from a lady in my ward.  She is allergic to everything.  OK, not everything, just gluten, milk, and I think something else.

Apparently I'm allergic to crackers made for the highly allergic.  Strange.

Anyway, while at my friend's house, I broke out in hives.  My doctor has told me that once I see hives, I have one hour to get some sort of fast acting allergy medicine in me (think Benadryl or something like that) before my face starts swelling up and I stop breathing.  Luckily my friend runs a pharmacy out of her house (not for real life, she just has a little bit of everything) and she hooked me up.

Benadryl always gives me really strange dreams.  I hate having drug induced sleep.  It does crazy things.  Let me share this dream with you.

In my dream, I was waking up at my Mom's house.  My sister L6 was there (which is funny, cause she's been staying with my Mom for almost 2 weeks now.)  I was kind of delirious in my half awake state (remember that in real life I was still dreaming) and realized that my stomach had shrunk and I couldn't feel anything inside of my anymore.  With panic I turned to my Mom and asked, "Where is my baby?!?!"  My Mom laughed at me and told me that I had delivered a few hours earlier.  I was so exhausted that as soon as the baby was out of me, I passed out.  Mom took me into her bedroom to meet my little child.  She was pretty darn cute!  I picked her up, excited to meet her, and she had the floppy-est head in the world.  Despite the fact that her neck looked a normal length for a newborn, her head moved like it was sitting on a 2 foot long piece of cooked spaghetti.  Upon further inspection, I also discovered that she had 5 piercings in each ear.  I had apparently given birth to a punk rocker.

As I looked at baby, I was considering all of the names that Hod and I are wondering about, and nothing felt right.  Even after meeting her, I still didn't have a clue what to name my baby.  Then I realized that Hod was missing.  I found him passed out on the floor of my Mom's family room.  L6 had been keeping an eye on him. I guess during my delivery the blood was too much, so he had passed out.  Then I got the story of how baby had come.

I had been sitting at the table, when I just kept moaning like something was wrong.  L6 finally realized that I was in labor (yeah, right... cause all I would be doing is moaning a little) and decided she should check my progress.  (Also strange, as L6 doesn't have medical training, and this is my first baby, so you'd think they'd just tell me to go to the hospital where I am planning on delivering.)  Turns out baby was already crowning, so L6 decided to play Dr and help get the baby here.  Everything went really fast, and baby came out looking great.  This is when I passed out.  Somehow, my unconscious body got everything else out of me, they cleaned up, and let me sleep.  The entire delivery lasted under 20 minutes.

I was kind of freaking out at this point, and I was sure I needed to go to the hospital.  Really, I had just delivered at 25 weeks, and baby was perfectly fine.  That didn't add up in my brain.  So, we threw some water on Hod to wake him up.  He was too shaken to drive, so he called a taxi service.  While waiting for the taxi, baby got hungry, so we decided to try nursing.  Of course, that worked perfectly on the first try, and even though I had delivered about an hour before, I had milk.  Also strange.  Hod wanted to burp baby, so I let him.  Oh, here's a random fact, Hod was sporting long hair that would put Fabio to shame.  It wasn't a good look for him.  Baby spit up in Hod's hair, and he FREAKED out.  Apparently he was very attached to his hair.

The taxi came, but the chick was in a hurry, and wouldn't let us put our car seat in her taxi.  I was trying to put it in anyway, but she just wouldn't let me.  I remember banging on the windows and shouting, "But the hospital won't let me take my baby home without a car seat!"  Halfway to our destination, Taxi Driver Lady had Hod sign some paperwork, where we discovered that this 4 mile trip was going to cost us $173.  I expressed some concern, and she decided to give us a deal, because she used to be one of my sister's (L7's) band students.  But her life had gone downhill.  She then played a song that told us her life story.  It was a pretty great song, that doesn't exist in real life.  It was all very dramatic.

Anyway, we got to the hospital, and no one would really talk to us, because everything looked fine.  When I cornered a Dr and explained that I had just delivered at 25 weeks, he just looked at me and said, "So, what's the big deal?"

In the end, Hod and I decided to just go home.  A car (with a car seat) magically appeared.  During the drive home, I woke up.  As in, back to real life, I'm awake now.

Baby is still inside of me, right where she belongs.  That was a really strange dream.  I'm not sure what to make of it.

I really don't like drug induced sleep.


Caryn Allen said...

BAHAHAHA!! That is the most awesome pregnancy dream EVER!! Oh my gosh, you have some good ones!!

Laree said...

First of all: Your pregnancy dreams flippin ROCK!

Second: I feel honored to have made such an impression on you that you subconsciously trust me to deliver your baby.

Third: I agree. Hod should never have Fabio hair!

Miss Nelson said...

Love it!! You're so funny!

Jillybean said...

I used to have some pretty strange pregnancy dreams, but this one is awesome! I guess I should have taken Benadryl and I could have had dreams like yours ;)

Alicia Yvonne said...

I've had some strange dreams durong my pregnancy, but strangely I haven't had a single one about delivering at all. I've been pregnant in my dreams, and others I have the baby already, but never actually delivering. I wish I could recall as much detail as you do though... I really wish I could have some sort of jump drive connected to me brain while I sleep so I could watch them after I wake up lol