Sunday, January 20, 2013

Almost Not Perfect

Friday #1 had a well check.  As I talked with the doctor about how #1 is doing with ... well everything I learned some facts.  First, I learned that I am a pretty good mom.  That is always nice to hear.  I also learned that #1 is doing ok.... for now.  Here is where she is:

Height 75%
Weight 25%
Average the two together and she is only at 20%.  If she gets down to an average of 15% we have a problem.  She is slowly falling off the weight chart.

Walking:  She has done it once for Hod and once for me.  (Well, not actually for us, we have both just caught her doing it once.)  As of right now she is still in the normal range for not walking.

Talking:  She doesn't really.  But she is able to communicate a little, so we are still in the normal range for that.

Sleeping:  She is on a regular pattern, but not yet sleeping though the night.  The pattern suggests that she should be able to sleep through the night, but she just isn't.  For her age that is still considered ok, but just barely.

However, unless we see some major progress in the next three months we get to start meeting with a ton o people.  If she starts to really walk, then they expect her weight will plummet.  If her foot size is any indication she is just going to get taller, so she really needs to eat better or she will fall off the weight chart.  If that happens we will be meeting with a dietitian.  I am going a little bit crazy trying to get her to eat.  The only foods she will always eat are milk and yogurt.  Everything else is so hit and miss it drives me crazy.  I no longer prepare food for myself because I know I will just end up eating what I make for her.  I have a friend who is a dietitian and she has already given me a few tips to get some extra calories in her milk and yogurt.  Coming from a family that has struggled to lose weight it is strange that I am working so hard to get my daughter to gain weight.  I think she gets that from her dad.  (Seriously, before he started a new med that can make you gain weight he could eat pure fat and not gain weight.  You know the stuff you cut off of your steak cause it is just fat?  He could eat it, and enjoy it, and still stay the exact same size.)

If she doesn't start walking by her next well check we will have to meet with physical therapists.

If she doesn't start sleeping through the night then we will have to run a bunch of tests to see if she maybe has sleep apnea or something that is preventing her from really resting.  (And according to my Dr, the answer isn't just to ignore her when she wakes up at night.  We talked about that extensively.  With her current sleep pattern that isn't the problem I guess.)

If she doesn't become more vocal then we will start speech therapy.

Now, I realize we have 3 months.  That is 1/5 of her life.  That is a long time for a kid her age.  I just worry that with #2 showing up any day I will have a hard time working as much with #1 as I need to in order to give her the best chance of making the goals we have set.

I talked to the Dr about possible ... What is the politically correct way to say it?  Is this just a small developmental delay, or is this going to be a permanent life long problem?  In some ways she seems SO smart, but the fact that she is all but behind in everything makes me nervous.  As of now the Dr doesn't think it is anything like that.  But I still worry.  I have quite a few friends with special needs kids.  They go through a lot.  I can't really imagine what life will be like if we join that group and I have such a young baby as well.

I've never really felt like a paranoid parent.  I have actually had a lot of moms tell me that I am super chill for a first time mom.  I'm not so chill anymore.  Most days feel like we are fighting all day as I try to get her to eat or speak or walk before I will help her with things.  I thought we were dealing with possible tantrums before but that was nothing compared to what we are doing now.  I miss my sweet happy girl.  It is so hard to watch her throw fits and have to ignore them.  I know what she wants.  I know how to make her stop.  But then she won't learn.  Then she will just stay behind.

I've had a lot of other moms tell me that I don't need to worry about it.  All of these things will happen when they happen and it isn't a big deal.  That is what I thought too, but apparently if she is behind in all of these things there could be something else going on.

I love #1 so much.  In the past few weeks we have grown closer as I have slowed down to spend more quality time with her.  Our days of just the two of us are rapidly coming to a close and I will miss them.  Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for #2 to join us, but I know that will change everything in our lives.  I cherish the time I have with #1.

So yeah.  That is where we are.  I hope that I'm just worrying over nothing and in the coming months something will just magically switch on and all of our problems will work themselves out.

It is going to be an exciting three months!


Miss Nelson said...

Sending prayers you way! I'm sure everything will work out fine, but I understand why you're concerned. It's hard not to worry about someone you love so much!

Laree said...

Oh I feel for you girl! In so many ways 'Lil was the same. It's hard to feel like something just isn't quite right . . .

The only one I'm confused on is the weight. 3 of my 4 kids have had even worse ratios (85-90 for height, 15-20 for weight) and I've never once had a doctor be worried at this age. We did start getting nervous for Buddy when his weight dropped down to 5th at age 5, and watching Jellybean when is weight dropped down to THIRD at 4 mths, but I've never had a doctor combine them either. Hmmm. That's interesting.

Stick with it. Eventually you'll find out the way things need to work. But I agree, it's pretty hard to wait for it!

Diana said...

I feel for you and hope and feel that everything will be okay. My thoughts, and it is only thoughts - no expert knowledge here - is that if you get the eating thing figured out, it might take care of her not sleeping through the night. Both of my boys have come close to falling off the charts, but then climbed back up. Don't let it stress you out. It will be okay.

Happy Mom said...

This is my two cents worth: Doctors today try to fix every problem and address every little concern (I'm sure it has something to do with covering their tushes for law suits), but in the process, I think they often tend to worry moms over little things that are normal and no big deal. Examples:
1. Tantrums are a normal part of growing up (and some kids take FOREVER to go through this stage--just ask Mom about Leann!) It's a stressful and hard time for both baby and parents, but it passes and the kid is just fine.
2. Getting kids to eat is a continual struggle for the first few years. Different parents handle it in various ways, but most of them end up figuring it out and the kid is just fine.
3. Walking: I've seen so many children who walked late and were just fine.
4. Talking: Likewise, I've seen many children speak late but be just fine.

The upshot of this? Most parents who are loving parents, do what's best for their children quite naturally, and most kids turn out just fine. I understand that the combination of all those concerns at once is stressful, but I see it as just a matter of timing, any one of them alone are not at all abnormal and just because those problems all converged at the same time doesn't mean that there's a lasting underlying problem.

Leann Nelson said...

Sure do love you and #1. I can't imagine the adventures you have been feeling but I know that things will be okay in the end. It might be a grand adventure getting there but it will be okay. They can become normal people (at least I hope I am normal) Love you guys!!

Alicia Yvonne said...

The highest weight percentile Owen has been at since birth is 11th. Lowest has been 3rd. We saw a nutritionist, but with his food allergies it is difficult to get the weight on without getting creative. While Owen isn't physically special needs (his talking is still low, but some days he just seems to click one couple words, and learns new signs) he is obviously still special needs. It is frustrating, and exhausting, and makes me feel like I'm failing at something constantly, but he is mine (and #1 is yours) for a very special and well planned reason. I hope you can find comfort soon, and am praying for some awesome milestones to be reached soon!