Monday, March 7, 2011

Learning To Share

I love married life.  Hod is one of the greatest things to happen in my life.  Adjusting to married life has been fairly easy for Hod.  This is in part because Hod is really good at the whole, "what's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours" thing.

Me.... Not so much.  You see, when I married Hod he had lived on his own for about 18 months.  I had lived on my own for about 8 years.  I was very used to "this is mine, not yours, so stick it" kind of mentality.  I'm not sure why I'm not good at sharing.  Growing up with 3 sisters, and a lot of nieces and nephews, I was often given the opportunity to share.  And I think I did ok with it.  I don't actually remember, and I'm sure my sisters will all correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I was a share-er.  And then I kind of stopped.

I think that happened when I started living on my own.  Back when Mom and Dad paid for things it was much easier to give.  When I started paying the bills I suddenly became very attached to my boxes of Mac n' Cheese.  I had worked hard for the money to buy it.  I became a stickler.  I didn't mean to become a jerk of sorts, but I guess I did.  This new selfish lifestyle fit me.  I liked having my stuff.  I really liked knowing that if I had 2 pieces of candy left, they would still be there when I returned.  It made me happy to sit something down and know it wouldn't have moved when I came back to it.

Then I married Hod.  He is SO good at sharing.  If I wanted to wear his cloths, he'd probably let me.  No matter what he has, he is willing to let me have/use it.  The only problem with this is:  I haven't gotten to that point yet.  Sometimes Hod will use my stuff, and it bothers me.  Really, it's all ours.  Not mine.  (Ok, the feminine supplies are mine.  But really, that's about it.)

This situation is best illustrated in a story.  One day, Hod decided he needed a new toothbrush.  He threw his away, and then discovered he couldn't find our spares.  Not a problem for Hod.  He just grabbed my toothbrush, and 2 minutes later, all clean!  I could see his logic.  I mean, really, we've kissed.  I should have no problem at all with his spit.  And yet, I can't get over it.  Twice Hod has used my toothbrush and twice I have given it to him to keep.  Am I crazy?  Are you ok with sharing EVERYTHING with your spouse?  Or if you have not yet entered the spouse world would you share?

I promise Mom taught me to share.  But apparently 8 years of singleness broke me of the habit.

*BUT as a side note, while packing I just found the spare head to my toothbrush... I'm taking it back! :) *


Caryn Allen said...

I can usually share pretty well, but a toothbrush is going a little too far for me! It doesn't bother Artene, though! Once I accidentally grabbed his toothbrush and started brushing. He came in to join me a few minutes later and said, "'re using my toothbrush." I said, "OH MY GOSH! I'M SO SORRY!" and he just laughed. He said he didn't care. That's a little weird to me. He waited till I was done, soaked his brush under running hot water for a minute or two, then brushed his own teeth. Hahaha!

Laree said...

Hmmm. I kind of think it's ok to not share everything, as long as it's equal. He gets his brush, I get mine. Sounds better to me!

Ricky and Sara Johnson said...

Mostly I feel that I have no mine really because Ricky is making all the money. He doesnt feel the same and feels bad that I feel this way on my bad days. I don't think that I would like it if he used my toothbrush, maybe even my towel or shower poof. It's never been a problem though. P.S. the word verification for this post is yossacc. Just so you know.

Valerie said...

I found you on MMB list of blogs. :) Beautiful wedding pic on the side bar!
Since I'm not married, I don't share my stuff with a hubby, but I was married for almost 18 years and can't think of anything I didn't feel okay sharing. I think it's proabably just a personal thing.