Accountability

This is not a happy post.  As soon as I can find the pictures, I will post details about our amazing Disneyland trip.  That was awesome.  Today's post?  Not as fun.

Hod has been sick for months.  But it was winter, and we all kept getting sick, so I didn't think too much about it.  But when there was a lot of pain with the coughing, I decided he needed to be checked out.

He went to an urgent care where they took blood, gave him a breathing treatment, took x-rays and sent us on our way.  The doctor thought it was just pneumonia, but said he would call us the next day if the x-rays showed anything.

The radiologist looked at the x-rays and saw a nodule in his left lung.  The doctor called us and told Hod to go to his primary doctor to get a CT scan referral.

There is a medical school close to us, and they are Hod's primary doctor.  He went, they redid everything, and the student doctor said that he could see something on the x-ray.  He had to get it all cleared by the attending physician, but he was pretty sure that we would be getting a CT scan.  This was on Monday.

They didn't call, and they didn't call.  On Friday, Hod started calling them.  But the attending was always busy.  She just didn't have time to look at the x-rays.  Hod called every day for a week.  He was very polite, but finally asked the receptionist what was going on.  She had been very kind, and instead of leaving another message went directly to the attending physician.  A few hours later she called him back.  With an annoyed tone, she told Hod that it was just a fissure and he should be fine.  Except he wasn't fine... he was in a lot of pain.

We thought about just letting it go, but we were confused.  We had one real doctor, a student doctor, and two radiologists who all agreed.  Then one attending physician who wouldn't look at the x-rays and seemed to just say whatever to get Hod to stop calling.

We decided we needed to get another opinion, and once we had two certified doctors that agreed we would go with their answer.

So, after seeing another doctor, and he looked at the previous x-rays, he agreed with the first doctor, that we needed to get a CT scan.

That took time to schedule, and Hod had that on Monday.

In the 6 weeks since the first set of x-rays, and in the 3 weeks since the second, another nodule has formed.

Hod's doctor has been doing a lot of research for us, so we can know what to do now.  The second nodule is right on one of his lymph-nodes, so now time is very important.  We have to catch this before it spreads.  The next step is a biopsy, and they are trying to schedule it for tomorrow.

The Doctor is pretty hopeful.  As of now, there is nothing in his blood.  And he only has 2 growths.  Normally with lung cancer it is much more advanced before it is discovered.  But he is pretty sure this is lymphoma.

We are trying to be hopeful, but we have both lost family members to lymphoma.  My sister L3 lost her husband to lymphoma almost 15 years ago.  I saw her strength as they worked together to fight it, but sadly it didn't work.  I think of her and wonder if I have that strength.  I hope I can be as great as she was.

But I guess we are still waiting on a biopsy, so maybe all of the worrying is just a waste of time.

Hod has never smoked.  Ever.  But we are looking at the possibility of lung cancer.  All smokers need to quit.  They aren't just hurting themselves.  I want to shake every smoker I know and beg them to stop.  But instead I'm sitting here, crying on and off, and researching lung cancer treatments.

I just wish someone would be accountable and that could make it go away.  Maybe the coworkers who smoke around Hod all the time.  Maybe our last apartment complex that puts smokers on the bottom floor and if you complain about smoke they show up with a roll of duct tape to try to seal off your floor.  Maybe the attending physician who wrote this off as nothing back when there was only one nodule.  Just someone so we didn't have to be sitting here worrying.  I want someone to admit this was their fault and for them to fix it.  But that's not the way it works.

So, there are the details.  Hopefully in a while this will all just be an unpleasant memory as Hod and I sit on the couch and cuddle.