Saturday, January 11, 2014

Over PC

You know how being politically correct is all the rage?  People get offended over everything so you have to be so careful about what you say, whom you say it to, how you phrase it, what position the moon is in, and how late the train is from Nashville?

I'm over it.

Sometimes a girl just needs to have an opinion.  But you can't vent about anything.  Why?  Because people will find one part of what I'm venting about and think "Sure, A-Y is hard, but I wish I had Z so I'm going to be offended by what you say and take it as a personal attack, or at the very least think that you are insensitive."

Kids are being hard today?  Well, what about that couple who has been trying to get pregnant for years!  They would do anything to have kids driving them nuts.

Was your kid just diagnosed with something that is going to change everything about your life?  Too bad, because that family over there has a kid with 5 problems, and they would KILL to have only one problem to deal with.

Husband bipolar and that makes things really hard some days?  Well at least you have a husband!

Hubby has a to take medication that make him sleep late and then his job is having him work long shifts so you are basically a single mom every day of your life?  Well that woman lost her husband so you should just be grateful that you have a warm body in the bed next to you.  AND at least he has a job.  Because that guy down the street has been looking for work for such a long time.

Being unhappy because you splurged and went to Wendy's and they were out of baked potatoes and that is all you really wanted?  You are the devil because you had $2 to spend on food and that family just applied for food stamps because times are hard.

I'm over it.

Look, I know that I have basically healthy kids, an employed husband, and sometimes I have a few extra dollars at the end of the month.  I realize those are GREAT blessings.  Having just one of those things means that I am luckier than a lot of people, but having them all means my life must be perfect, right?


Some days are really hard.  But I can't say anything about it because all of my trials are linked to a blessing.  I am expected to be perfect and never think that my life has struggles because I have so much more than someone.

I'm not perfect!  And until I am, I need to be able to vent on hard days.  That doesn't mean I'm not grateful.  That doesn't mean I don't realize how great my life really is.  But it does mean that right now, in this moment, I am struggling.  You don't need to take every trial of mine as a slap in the face because you have it worse.

Why can't we have sympathy for someone who is having struggles?  Why does my trial have to be taken as a personal insult to you?  It has nothing to do with you, so stop being offended!  I realize that sounds incredibly selfish, but I have realized that I am never going to make everyone happy.

I'm a talker.  I need people.  But I can't talk to anyone because there is some part of my life that everyone wants.  To be less than perfectly happy with all of my life is a reason for someone else to be hurt.

I'm over being politically correct.  I still want to be nice, I still care for others, but if I have had a really hard day because my 2 year old is having her 4th complete meltdown in 3 hours because of who knows what, and we are working on getting her tested for sensory processing problems because she shouldn't be reacting the way she does, that means that this moment right now is hard.  It is not something that you need to be offended by because you are struggling with infertility.  It is not my responsibility to pretend to have a perfect life so I don't offend you a little.  Because you know what?  When you come to me complaining that your layover for your trip to France was super long and you got bored in the airport, part of me does think, "wow, I wish I could afford a trip like that," but that doesn't lessen the fact that it was hard for you.  Why am I making your problems all about me?  Am I really that selfish?

Stop taking it personally, and think about someone else.

(I realize that this entire post was about wanting people to think about me more and that is incredibly selfish, but I couldn't think of another way to get my point across.)

And, YES, I realize that my life is pretty awesome.


Miss Nelson said...

You can vent to me - anytime! I won't think you're insensitive for having trials! Love you!

Anonymous said...

Awesome post. I tempted to say that I wish I had time to blog but it would be for comedic effect and not because I really think that. People do chose to get offended so easy. I really love your trip to France example. Haters have to hate. Don't worry about them.

Annie and Michael Whyte said...

Good for you. I totally agree. When did it become so popular to find something to be offended about instead of just being sympathetic and understanding?! And your post is totally not selfish. Everyone needs support, regardless of what their problems might be! I think you are pretty impressive, considering all you're dealing with. You keep on venting!