Right behind the visitors center there is a garden with many statues. It is called the Monument to Women. Recently I've had a few conversations with a few of my male friends about women. I've read many talks by good men about the importance of women, and part of me agrees with what they say. Not to be cocky, but I do feel that women have a divine purpose. That we are equal with men. Unfortunately I haven't spent enough time with men who feel that way. I play drums. And I love that, but in the Drum world, if you are female, you have to be better than all of the boys to be seen as equal. You are not ever allowed to show weakness. As you work your hardest to be your best so you can be an equal, you also had to realize that this wouldn't earn you respect. It would just make it so you were no longer disrespected. Things have changed, but that is the world that I lived in for all four of my high school years. As a result, I have a hard time getting my heart to match up with the things my head is telling me. I know logically that women are as good as men, but my heart doesn't' quite believe it. But I had an amazing experience as I walked through this garden.
As I walked through the beautiful flowers and saw all of the statues I had an overwhelming feeling of love come over me. I was doing nothing. I was just walking, but I felt loved. I didn't have to prove myself, I didn't have to compete, I didn't have to show my skills, I was just being me. Despite my lack of doing anything, I felt that I was good enough. That I truly have a divine purpose. That as a woman I have great worth. These are words that I have heard my entire life, but I actually felt it. I saw the statues portraying a woman's responsibility, and I was looking forward to experiencing the scenes depicted there. I knew that I could do what has been asked of me. I'm not perfect. I won't be perfect in this life, but I am good enough. I am good enough that my Heavenly Father will trust me to help bring his children back to him. It is a blessing to be a woman. I realize that many woman just have always understanded this. But I didn't. For once my heart finally agreed with my head. And it felt great.The rest of my time in Nauvoo was similar. Over and over I felt the love that my Heavenly Father has for me. I was taught over and over that I am enough. That I have worth, and that I can succeed. I have very different struggles than the great pioneers that you learn about there. But they are real struggles. And I can grow and learn and progress from letting the Lord help me through them. I feel very blessed to finally know this.
Maybe a blog isn't the right place to share this. But I do realize that all eight of my followers are people close to my heart. I don't really figure that anyone else will read this, and I know that you will all respect me. To some this is a little thing, but to me this knowledge makes quite a difference. I really do have a great life!
