It's my 100th post

Hey friends!

Sorry it's been so long.  I realized that my next post was going to be my 100th.  So I wanted to post something super cool!  I waited, and waited for something super cool, and it didn't come.  Instead you get this.  It is maybe super cool.

*WARNING*  This post could incur sharing penalties.  You have been warned.

I say maybe, cause I don't know if it's really happening.

First, I need to apologize to L1-L3.  You see, I'm probably pregnant.  One day, Hod and I decided to tell everyone.  Before I got to everyone I ended up in the emergency room.  I was possibly miscarrying.  As a result, I didn't really want to call anyone and tell them that I was pregnant.  That was Oct 23rd.  In the ER they took my blood so they could check hormone levels.  Then by checking them again on Monday they could know if I was miscarrying or not by how the levels changed.  On Monday I went back to the doctor.  They took my blood, and tested it, but because my ER visit was so late, it hadn't been a full 48 hours.  The numbers went up, but not enough.  We decided to blame time and try again.  Oct 29th they took my blood again.  Saturday they called me and said "Well, your levels are doubling appropriately, so it seems you're ok."  Through all of this, no one has told me why I'm bleeding so much.  I'm just told to wait and we'll see.

Hod and I have been trying to be positive, but we've still be so unsure.  But today we had an ultrasound.  This will answer all of our questions, right??  Yeah, that was our hope.  Here's what we know now.  I am 8 weeks along.  However, I'm only measuring at 6 weeks.  There is a baby inside of me, with a beating heart, but the heart is beating very slow.  Now, if I am really actually only at 6 weeks then this could be fine.  The heart is normally really slow at 6 weeks.  And we don't know for sure when I actually ovulated because I was just coming off of birth control and that messes everything up.  There is also a "spot of bleeding" or something like that.  This is a problem.  They are wondering if the placenta was too aggressive, and if that is what is the problem.  The Dr isn't sure what is going on.  At this time, he is leaning towards miscarriage.  Still.  Even though I got to see the baby.  Even though the heart is beating.  Even though I am doing everything right.

Now, one thing that I have to tell myself over and over, is what the Dr told me today.  He said that if I have been living a normal life, and not doing certain things (Which I haven't been) then there is no way that I could have been having a normal pregnancy and I messed it up.  It's just kind of a natural selection type of thing.

So, It's not my fault.  But that doesn't make it any easier.  Even though we've been waiting for 2 weeks, wondering, praying, stressing, not sleeping, we still don't know.  They have ordered another ultrasound for next week.  If things continue to look bad then we'll have a decision to make.  Wait it out when there is no hope, not knowing what will happen, OR surgery.  Basically choose to have an abortion because the baby will not live to full term and will not develop right.

I'm trying really hard to be positive, but some days it's hard.  I mean, really, I'm 26.  And I'm LDS.  I'm already way behind in the whole start a family thing.  I don't want to be set back again.  I don't want to lose the baby.  I love this child.  And through it all, there is nothing I can do.  But wait.

So, I'll put on my happy face.  I'll get in my car and drive through the snow and go to work.  I'll do what I can to serve others and think of them.  And the entire time I will pray that our baby will be able to stay with us.  That's all I can do.

Sorry to be a downer, but there's my life.  My 100th post.  Big news... and not.

A Few Pictures

As all ya'll know, I got married just over a month ago.  Our amazing photographer is still working on photoshopping our photos, but I thought I'd share a few of my favorite un-shopped photos.

It was an AMAZING day!  Thanks to everyone who helped.  You rock my knee highs!!

Life

I recently started a new job.  As a result, Hod and I both have to drive independently to a city 30 miles away.  Last night, we got off about the same time, and because I had a free meal at a restaurant, we treated ourselves as a happy one month celebration.  As we drove home, I was driving ahead of Hod.  We missed witnessing an accident by less than five minutes.  There was a motorcycle and a large truck involved.  As we approached the intersection we could see a dead body lying on the ground.  There were a lot of people around, and the police hadn't shown up yet.  We didn't want to be in the way, so we kept driving.  Right after we got to the intersection, another truck, seeing what we all could see, moved so he was blocking most of the view.  I was glad for this.  I'm sure there were a lot of children in the cars around us, and they didn't need to see.  I called Hod, and told him that I loved him.  I'm still pretty shaken up.  Life is precarious.  But I am glad to have mine.

A Lousy Memory

So, we all know that I don't blog everyday. The good news is, between all of the blogs that I do stalk, I always have one to read. Many of my family and friends have private blogs. I totally get that. Some people just aren't comfortable living their entire bloggy life as a bucket. Luckily I have completely embraced my inner bucket-ness. Anyway, the point of this, is Blogger daily asks me if I want to be remembered. Most every day I tell it yes. Every day, I am forgotten. I used to think that maybe it was because Hod would use my computer on a regular basis, cause we weren't married, and he would always come to my apartment. But, married life, and him having his own computer hasn't fixed the problem.  Alas, I seem to be destined to be forgotten. As a result, I feel the need to dedicate a song to Blogger. So, Blogger, dear, kind, free, forgetful blogger. This one is for you. (Seriously, read the lyrics, it totally fits, in a slightly creepy way.)  Oh, and as always, remember to pause the music player on your right before playing the video.  And, I'm pretty sure if Josh Groban had a grave to roll over in, he would after finding out that I just used this AMAZING song to mock Blogger.  

Amazing Problem Solving Skills

Last weekend, Hod and I went on a trip down to my home state.  While driving on a major freeway, I noticed a strange occurrence. I imagine that the men who are part of the state construction company had a conversation that went something like this:

*Imagine a door slamming as Henry quickly enters the office to talk to his supervisor George*
H: George!  We have a Ma-Jor problem!
G: Oh No!  What's wrong Henry? (This may be said in a "Did little Timmy Fall down the well" voice.)
H: All of the warehouses are full!  There is NO room for all of the construction cones and barrels.  What do we do??
G: Oh, silly Henry.  That's an easy one.  You know that stretch of freeway between this place and this other city?
H: Yes, sir!  I am very aware of that area on a major freeway that lots and lots of cars, trucks, and semi's travel everyday.
G: See, this is what you do: Take all of the extra cones and barrels, add in those signs that say you are entering a construction zone and then *giggle* drop the speed limit.  It's a "construction" zone, so you should probably drop the speed limit by about 30 mph.  Ha! Ha!  That will be great.  Can you just see all of the commuters, slowing down, driving waiting for the construction zone to really show up, but in never will!  Little do they know we're just out of room.  We just need a space for our extra cones and barrels.
H: That is a brilliant idea! Wow, George.  This is why you're in charge.  So resourceful.  I'll go right out and do that.
*Scene ends as Henry runs from the office to go to George's evil bidding*

Seriously.  We went through multiple "construction" zones.  No men working, nothing different on the road, just cones, barrels, and a really slow speed limit.  But I get it.  If you're out of room, what can you do?

The Life of Mr & Mrs Bucket

Hello friends!

I'm back!  AND I'm married.  Yeah, weird.  Today I was able to stand up and introduce myself in my new ward.  It was really hard to remember my last name.  But married life is good.  I highly recommend it.  Here's a few highlights:

1.  On our wedding night (No, this story isn't going there... who do you think I am???)  Hod and I had a hard time adjusting to sleeping with another person.  Middle of the night, I was actually kicked out of bed.  There was a couch in our room so I ended up there.  Hod doesn't remember asking me to move, but I was totally bummed.  It got cold, so eventually I made him get over it and I got back in bed.  Now we can successfully sleep in the same bed without anyone getting kicked out.  Although, apparently I can be quite the aggressive cuddle-er.  Hod has learned that when I am sleeping and I want to cuddle, he better watch out :)  Oh, and can I just share, one of the best feelings in the WORLD is when you're asleep and then a handsome man rolls over just to put his arm around you and pull you close.  Sharing penalty?  Hope not, cause I love it!

2.  We are all sorts of moved in!  We really like our apartment, except for the lack of storage.  That is a bummer.  But we are figuring it out.  We hung up all of our art and we look all sorts of ritzy.  The sad part is, we are totally the normal poor newlyweds.  But we're happy in our poorness!

3.  I have successfully cooked twice for Hod now.  This morning I tried and failed.  I was making french toast.  Not a hard thing to make.  But I didn't notice that on my brand new pan there was some plastic around the handle.  It melted.  And it smelled really bad.  And we didn't think it was on the food till Hod started eating.  He's sweet and tried to be nice and eat it anyway.  I made him stop because I didn't want him to die.  I may have ruined a pan.  And I'm not happy about it.  But it was funny.

4.  I'm still looking for a job.  I don't really enjoy not having work.  Actually, it's driving me crazy!  But at least Hod has a job.  Some nights he's gone late for work and that totally whomps, but some income is good.

So thats my life.  Nothing too exciting to report.  But life is good.  I love Hod, and I am enjoying my life!!

Yeah for the USPS

I grew up in a pretty small town.  Until about 8 years ago, we were the only people on our street with my current last name.  (I say current, because it's changing in 6 days!)  Once the other Buckets moved in up the street, we started getting their mail.  Quite often actually.  It's totally lame.  And quite annoying.

Time is crazy short, and my dear Mom decided that we should just mail the rest of the announcements.  So we did.  Once again, our postman messed up.  We ended up with some of Mr. Bucket's mail.  Guess what we got??  Yep, you guessed it.  The postman delivered MY wedding announcement, with my parents return address on it, to my parents house.  I tell you what, those are some mad skills.  That is SO lame!

So Much To Do!

I think I may be getting the slacker-iest blogger award.  I'm going crazy!!  Here's a small update on my life.

Wedding:  It's in 12 days.  12.  As in if I was a freak and was like the 6-fingered-man only double I would be able to count it out on my fingers.  I haven't even started to think about packing.  And I have to pack from 2 houses.  I still have wedding announcements that I need to deliver.  Oh, and let's just make life crazy, listen to this.  So Hod and I had decided where we were moving for him to go to school.  It's about a 90 min drive from were we currently life.  THEN 7 days ago, there was a big shift.  We are now moving a 2 1/2 hour drive the opposite direction.  Why?  Because God said so.  I really wish he would tell me things further in advance.  The good news is, we already have an apartment in the new location, some of my very bestest of friends live there, and Hod can still transfer for work.  I still don't have a job, but I didn't have one before either.  Good gravy!

Yesterday we went and took my bridals.  That was a lot of fun.  I had an entire entourage following me.  There was the photographer (L5), her assistant L7 in charge of the reflector, my roomie in charge of my bouquet, the friend who is doing my hair in charge of the veil, another friend who was in charge of posing me, cause I had NO idea what I wanted or should do, and her husband who was watching their baby, and may have joined me in a picture because I needed some manly influence.  I know, it's strange.  Just go with it.  I would post pictures, but Hod reads this blog, and that is not something he is allowed to see.

I still have 5 days left of work.  It's a pretty lame job, and though I was SO grateful to get it, I will be glad to leave it.  I am totally only working here for the money.  But getting this job was a gift, I am very much so done.

My parents get home in 2 days!!  I can't even tell you how happy I am about this.  At first, I kind of wanted to plan my wedding by myself.  Then I figured I would get exactly what I wanted because my Mom wouldn't be around to disagree with me.  This is all based on a small disagreement we had about my wedding reception when I was 15.  Well, I've grown up, and I don't think we would have fought anymore, and I am now just INSANE because I didn't wait for my Mom.  I mean, really.  What was I thinking!  L2 and L3 have been SO great to help me get things done, but there is only so much they could do.  They are crazy busy with their families.  L5 has been busy being my photographer, so she hasn't been able to do too much more, L7 has been traveling around the world and moving classrooms so she hasn't been here, Hod is working 52 hours a week, so he's not around to help.  As a result, I have probably done 87% of my wedding all by myself.  I am SOOOOO glad to have a Mom that I can throw some of the last minute things at.  I have to keep working and I have to move, and there is so much to do.  But she is coming home so soon from her mission mostly to help me.  Mom's are the best, and I sure do love mine!  And, I think I just need the rational mind of my Dad.  So, Mom and Daddy-o, Please drive safely, and come join me!  I only have 10 days with you before I'm a married woman, so let's do all of the fun things we can think of in between wedding stuff!

So, yeah.  There's my life.  It's crazy, and I'm barely holding on.  But it's all going to work out!!