That Was A Strange One

Last night, Hod and I were visiting some friends, and I started having an allergic reaction.  I discovered my first food allergy in 2003, and I'm quite aware of my body when it comes to food and possible reactions.  Did you know you can have an allergic reaction to something you ate 72 hours before?  After much contemplation, I realized that the only unusual thing (Or I can have a reaction when I eat a large quantity of a food... but I hadn't done that) that had entered my body were some crackers I got from a lady in my ward.  She is allergic to everything.  OK, not everything, just gluten, milk, and I think something else.

Apparently I'm allergic to crackers made for the highly allergic.  Strange.

Anyway, while at my friend's house, I broke out in hives.  My doctor has told me that once I see hives, I have one hour to get some sort of fast acting allergy medicine in me (think Benadryl or something like that) before my face starts swelling up and I stop breathing.  Luckily my friend runs a pharmacy out of her house (not for real life, she just has a little bit of everything) and she hooked me up.

Benadryl always gives me really strange dreams.  I hate having drug induced sleep.  It does crazy things.  Let me share this dream with you.

In my dream, I was waking up at my Mom's house.  My sister L6 was there (which is funny, cause she's been staying with my Mom for almost 2 weeks now.)  I was kind of delirious in my half awake state (remember that in real life I was still dreaming) and realized that my stomach had shrunk and I couldn't feel anything inside of my anymore.  With panic I turned to my Mom and asked, "Where is my baby?!?!"  My Mom laughed at me and told me that I had delivered a few hours earlier.  I was so exhausted that as soon as the baby was out of me, I passed out.  Mom took me into her bedroom to meet my little child.  She was pretty darn cute!  I picked her up, excited to meet her, and she had the floppy-est head in the world.  Despite the fact that her neck looked a normal length for a newborn, her head moved like it was sitting on a 2 foot long piece of cooked spaghetti.  Upon further inspection, I also discovered that she had 5 piercings in each ear.  I had apparently given birth to a punk rocker.

As I looked at baby, I was considering all of the names that Hod and I are wondering about, and nothing felt right.  Even after meeting her, I still didn't have a clue what to name my baby.  Then I realized that Hod was missing.  I found him passed out on the floor of my Mom's family room.  L6 had been keeping an eye on him. I guess during my delivery the blood was too much, so he had passed out.  Then I got the story of how baby had come.

I had been sitting at the table, when I just kept moaning like something was wrong.  L6 finally realized that I was in labor (yeah, right... cause all I would be doing is moaning a little) and decided she should check my progress.  (Also strange, as L6 doesn't have medical training, and this is my first baby, so you'd think they'd just tell me to go to the hospital where I am planning on delivering.)  Turns out baby was already crowning, so L6 decided to play Dr and help get the baby here.  Everything went really fast, and baby came out looking great.  This is when I passed out.  Somehow, my unconscious body got everything else out of me, they cleaned up, and let me sleep.  The entire delivery lasted under 20 minutes.

I was kind of freaking out at this point, and I was sure I needed to go to the hospital.  Really, I had just delivered at 25 weeks, and baby was perfectly fine.  That didn't add up in my brain.  So, we threw some water on Hod to wake him up.  He was too shaken to drive, so he called a taxi service.  While waiting for the taxi, baby got hungry, so we decided to try nursing.  Of course, that worked perfectly on the first try, and even though I had delivered about an hour before, I had milk.  Also strange.  Hod wanted to burp baby, so I let him.  Oh, here's a random fact, Hod was sporting long hair that would put Fabio to shame.  It wasn't a good look for him.  Baby spit up in Hod's hair, and he FREAKED out.  Apparently he was very attached to his hair.

The taxi came, but the chick was in a hurry, and wouldn't let us put our car seat in her taxi.  I was trying to put it in anyway, but she just wouldn't let me.  I remember banging on the windows and shouting, "But the hospital won't let me take my baby home without a car seat!"  Halfway to our destination, Taxi Driver Lady had Hod sign some paperwork, where we discovered that this 4 mile trip was going to cost us $173.  I expressed some concern, and she decided to give us a deal, because she used to be one of my sister's (L7's) band students.  But her life had gone downhill.  She then played a song that told us her life story.  It was a pretty great song, that doesn't exist in real life.  It was all very dramatic.

Anyway, we got to the hospital, and no one would really talk to us, because everything looked fine.  When I cornered a Dr and explained that I had just delivered at 25 weeks, he just looked at me and said, "So, what's the big deal?"

In the end, Hod and I decided to just go home.  A car (with a car seat) magically appeared.  During the drive home, I woke up.  As in, back to real life, I'm awake now.

Baby is still inside of me, right where she belongs.  That was a really strange dream.  I'm not sure what to make of it.

I really don't like drug induced sleep.

So, This One Time I Saved The World...

Dear people of the Land of Buckets,

I have recently been informed that I am a slacker blogger. I guess it's true. And my past blogs aren't even funny. Sorry about that. Pretty much my life is boring. Good, but nothing exciting to blog about. I'm not running into nearly enough stupid people so I can't blog about them either. I mean, I enjoy being happy as much as the next girl, but it makes me a lousy blogger. As a result, you now get to learn about a dream I had while I was on my mission. It's pretty exciting. And no, a lot of it doesn't make sense, but that's ok. It was a dream.

Once Upon A Time...

*Insert weird music and fuzzy screen time to change to dream sequence*

I was in the Hill Cumorah pageant. Now if you go to the Hill Cumorah, it's a REALLY steep hill. But they build a stage onto it so it's not really that bad. But not this time. It was just really steep. As in if you stepped the wrong way, you would fall, and roll, for EVER cause the Hill was now actually about 300 yards high. I don't know why.

Anyway, We're doing the play, and for some reason I have a baby strapped to my back... and then there is an earthquake. As the Earth trembles, a ginormous crack opens up in the middle of the hill, and all the people are now rolling towards it. I was overly concerned about the baby on my back so I didn't notice everything else that was going on. Then, all of the sudden, amidst all of the chaos a small scary looking man comes flying out of the chasm in a black horse drawn carriage. Oh, and the carriage was flying. He had the most booming voice ever heard and proceeded to announce:

"Good evening all. I'd like to introduce myself. I am the Devil. I was playing a card game with God and I won the hand, so I now rule the earth." (I know, totally sacrilegious, but it was a dream, I can't always control them) "I've decided to shake things up a bit, so now you will all be coming with me"

Suddenly, out of the ground, magical ropes came flying which tied themselves around everyone's wrists and ankles. Then they tied themselves to some sticks above us and we all became human puppets. The magic puppet sticks then walked us all to the gaping hole in the ground, we fell for a really long time and landed in... Hell.

The good news is, we didn't go down without a fight. We were all SO bugged. We kept telling the Devil that he couldn't have us, cause we were still alive, and the whole Hell thing was supposed to happen at death, but he didn't care. Really, the Devil is totally lame. He just thinks he's above the rules. I totally wanted to kick him.

Once he realized that we did kind of have a point, he made a deal with us. We were all lined up around a giant pool of lava. Oddly enough, this pool of lava came equipped with tables and really comfy chairs. The deal was, he was going to play 4 CD's. If one person, just one, could stay awake until the end we would all go free. He then pushed "Play" on his CD player that was hooked up to the coolest sound system ever imagined, did a little victory dance, and left the room.

This is him doing his lame-o dance.

Ok, now do me a favor. You know the classic boring elevator music? How it's totally lame? How if you had one more floor you had to ride, you might just leap to your death because you can't stand the music anymore? Think of that music... and now multiply the lameness and level of boring by... about ten thousand. That would be the music the Devil had. He pushed play and I saw all of the people I cared about make a real effort to stay awake. But they couldn't do it. It was like someone had pumped the entire room with sleeping gas. They just started dropping like flies. And there I sat, in terror as I could see our entire life coming to an end. I just knew I had to do something.

So, I leaned my elbows on the table in front of me, and started drumming. I was kind of drumming to the music, but not really. And I kept drumming. I actually started to have fun. The first CD ended. There were now about 10 people still awake. As the second CD started, they dropped off too. But not me! I just kept drumming. And drumming. I was totally rocking out to the music in my head. About the time the 3rd CD started, the Devil noticed what I was doing. He really wasn't happy about it. He tried getting me to stop, but I wouldn't. Then, in an act of pure evil... he put headphones on me. Those sound canceling headphones so I couldn't hear anything except the LAME-O music that he was pumping through them. And still, I kept drumming, and drumming. The 4th CD started and I was still drumming. After some time, I knew we were close. I wanted to sleep, just like everyone else was, but I knew the entire world was depending on me. As we neared the end of the 4th CD the Devil started shrieking, "NOOOOOOOO, you can't win! I want to rule the Earth, this can't be happening, NOOOOOO!!!!!" All the while jumping up and down. Actually, I think he was doing a pretty good impersonation of Rumpelstiltskin after the girl figured out his name.

The CD ended, everyone woke up, and I had totally saved the world. Yeah, I'm pretty cool like that.

The End.

My Hidden Love

I had no idea. I apparently have a hidden love for the classic Mormon Movie star. This love was so deep, I didn't even know it was there. Until he was the star of my latest dream. That's right. I'm talking about him:


I have a secret crush on none other than Kirby Heyborne. What am I thinking?

Ok, in all honesty, I don't think a word of what I just said was true. And yet, Mr. Heyborne was in my dream last night. And it wasn't just a cameo appearance. He was pretty involved. And we were apparently an item. As in, he held my hand and kissed my forehead in a smushy/gross way and I was totally into it.

Oh, and all of this took place in a giant swimming pool. Actually, we were just in a huge room that was completely full of water. I'm talking floor to ceiling. How we got in the room without draining it, I don't know. But I wasn't worried about that. We were fully dressed, and dancing. Yet we were floating at the same time. Everyone could even talk to each other. Well, everyone except for me. When I talked, it did the classic bubbles and you have no idea what I'm saying thing. As in, when I talked, it reacted just like it should have in the real world. I was embarrassed by this, but I guess good old Kirby found it rather endearing.

Actually I am kind of scared by this. Who dreams about Kirby? Maybe I should get some counseling.

Not that I don't love Kirby. I'm sure he is a great guy. I'm just not interested.

I may be a little scared to go to sleep tonight. Cross your fingers, I'm really hoping for some Kirby-less dreams.