If You Wouldn't Mind

Hello happy friends!

So... I've been blog stalking for a while now.  And I LOVE that I have friends who want to put a link to my blog on the side of their's.  However... I would like to point out something.  From the beginning of my blog I decided I wanted to keep my real identity hidden.  I even went over a year before I posted a picture of my face.  That's how hidden I wanted to be.  I decided that the world isn't THAT dangerous, and seeing as how I haven't committed any crimes, I don't believe my face can be found in any searchable face recognition data bases and I was probably being a little over cautious.  So, now there are pictures that include my face and my dear Hod's face.  There is just one piece missing.  Our names.  I'm not being Paily instead of Aretha (Man that lady can sing) just for fun.  I'm Paily and he is Hod because I don't want our names anywhere.

This is what I am asking.  If you have a link to my blog, first of all, thanks!  Would you mind checking to make sure that my name isn't on it?  Can you say something about Paily and Hod instead of Aretha and Frank?  (I have no idea where those names are coming from... and I can't say the real names cause that kind of ruins it too... just go with it.)  And along with not putting Aretha and Frank, can you be sure not to put our last name of Smithsonian anywhere?  (You may have heard of my super cool museum... yeah, I'm that famous)

Thanks, Yo's.  I knew I could count on you!

#39

Have any of you noticed that if you look at a fellow blogger's profile, and you read through the blogs they follow, any title with an apostrophe shows up as #39?  I kind of feel left out.  Like maybe I should have named my blog something like "I'm in need of buckets!" so then when it was listed it would say I#39m in need of buckets!  How cool is that?  But, No, it's just boring and plain and has no symbols that make me think slightly of expletives. Not that I want people to think I'm swearing.  (side note, do you have any idea how hard it was to figure out how to spell expletive?  That's a special word right there.)

Really... there is no point in this.  Just that I feel a little left out of the #39 club.  Oh well.

A Little Laugh From Date Night

(While watching "Return of the Jedi")
Paily: The Ewoks are SO cute!  I want one!
Hod:  I'm pretty sure it's illegal to own a midget as a pet.

The best part to me, is that he said this so matter of factly.  Apparently I say stupid things on a regular basis and it no longer surprises him.

The Chance to Obtain Buckets

Do you ever meet a person, and your first opinion of them is something like, "Huh.  That person sure has a lot of ... character.  I'd be OK with it if they just stayed on that side of the room."

We had a new family move into the ward this week.  Actually quite a few new families.  That happens about this time of year when you live in a college town.  There was a specific woman who caught my eye.  She made a few comments in class, she seemed really nice, I just didn't know that I wanted to be friends with her.  Pretty much I don't have enough charity.

Then, today, I was given the chance to do a service opportunity with her.  We talked, we got to know each other, we learned some stuff, and when we left, she told me that she wanted to do something with me again.  I gave her the basic, "Oh, uh, yeah... that would be good, although Hod and I are really busy, so it will be hard to find a time..."  Pretty much as non-committal as I could get.

I got home, and thought about what had happened.  Really, she's nice.  She wants to do whats right.  She is a newly-wed, and trying to figure out married life.  And there I was, being all sorts of mean in my heart.  I was kind enough on the outside to make this nice woman think we were friends.  Then I turned around and grumbled.  Why do I do that?  Why do people (Namely me) think that I'm better than anyone?  I have issues, I'm not perfect, I do stupid things, I can be hard to handle at the beginning.

So, this is the plan: I, Paily, am going to get over myself.  I'll be honest, I don't plan on inviting them to a sleepover or anything soon.  But I plan on finding a way to get to know this person.  To get past the quirkie outside and find the warm fuzzy center.  We may never be the best of friends, but I will come to love her as a child of God.  Think I can do it?  Here's hoping!

Well That Was Fun!

So, Hod's car died.  After some wonderful interest free help from my dear parents, we now have this:

Our very own 2004 Mazda 6 wagon.  We are so happy with our purchase.  Now I don't have to worry about Hod's car quitting while he drives home late at night.  That's just scary!

Tuesday, Hod and I decided to make a quick trip to see his parents.  I had never been to where Hod grew up before, and it was pretty fun!  But, can I just share, WOW, they are some giving people.  Let me show you what I came home with.

Shoes:  2 pair.  The first pair is a pair of heels.  I would show you a picture, but they are in the car with Hod at his work, so I can't.  But let us look at the second pair.  They can almost be seen here ... Only make the top red part going around the bottom pink, and the bottom red part going around the bottom yellow.  Seriously, I remember watching Punky Brewster as a kid, and I loved it.  Now I have her shoes!  Big thanks to Mom-in-Law.  She's so nice to buy me shoes!


Coat:  Ok, Look at this:

Now imagine it Black.  It was pretty great.  It goes like this: my coat is old.  As in I got it for the winter of '98-'99.  It's worked well for me.  I wore it my entire mission.  And it has character.  But it kind of wasn't so super effective anymore.  I was super warm as long as I was wearing a sweatshirt or poofy sweater under it.  Hod and I had plans to get me a coat in the spring when they were all super cheap.  Until then, I would just wear layers.  Hey, they're in fashion!  Yesterday, Hod, Me, Mom-in-law, and Sister-in-law (I need to come up with some more names) were shopping.  I saw some coats, and we looked at them, and I liked them, but we just couldn't afford them.  If we hadn't spent $500 on our car this month, it would have helped a lot.  Well, a few months ago, Sis-in-law and her hubby decided that they wanted to save up some money to help someone for Christmas.  They had prayed and tried to find out who they should help, but they hadn't come up with anyone.  So they were just waiting, hoping they would know who to help.  After we got home from the Mall, SIL called her husband and talked to him.  She then took me and Hod back to buy me a coat, and Hod some new shoes that he needs.  And according to her, we were SUPER close to the amount her and her husband had saved up.  Yeah for inspiration!

THEN Hod noticed that MIL had a bright red shine-y thing that I happened to want, sitting in her garage.  He mentioned to MIL that I really wanted said item.  She decided that since she wasn't using it, that she wanted to give it to me.  (If you don't already have envy, I think you're about to)

Are you super jealous??

Really, I don't even know how to talk about how blessed I feel.  All of this, with the present Mom and Dad gave us, we're going to be able to pay our rent this month!  And I don't have to be cold anymore.  And I have shoes that don't hurt my feet, and Hod has shoes he can wear to church, and I can bake!

So, here is a shout out to all of my wonderful family members who bless our lives every day.  THANK YOU!!!!  Hod and I have had some hard months, and it has seemed that no matter what we do, we just can't get ahead.  But with everyone in our lives, we are going to make it!!

THANK YOU ALL!!!

Driving 101

So, I recently moved (recently as in almost 3 months ago) to a new state.  As a result, I need to get a new driver's license.  Soon.  As in I think if I don't get it this week then I'll have to pay a nasty fee.  I better get on that.  But really, do I have to know what the ok blood alcohol level is?  Can't I just say it's 0%?  Cause that's what it should be!  Yeah, I need to take that test.

Anyway, really this is about me venting.  You see, I have read the manual.  I know the laws.  So, let me teach you all.

For example, let's talk about a four way stop.  The first person to get to the stop sign gets to go first.  It's not based on how long you have been waiting.  I'm sorry that your line of cars had about 10 when you approached the stop sign, and mine only had 2.  That means I got to the stop sign before you.  So you don't get to go next!  Your side just went.  You don't get 2 cars in a row.  I know this is sad, but it's the law.  So stick it.

Round a bouts (I don't actually know how to spell that...)  I've lived in a lot of busy cities.  I get how to use these.  You don't.  You see, the speed limit is 15 mph.  That means that really, if we were all going the speed limit, 4 cars could safely enter at the same time.  This is what makes this an effective traffic control device.  But you see, when you enter the round about at 30 mph, it just makes it so no one else can go.  Thus ensuring that your line of 39 cars all get to go before anyone else.  And that's just rude.

So please friends, stop driving like you have been.  (PS, this is really to the locals here... and that involves exactly 2 of you, and I'm not talking about you 2, so no one should be offended about this)

And wish me luck on my driver's test!

A Little Bit of Everything

Hey, Yo's.

So, firstly, some serious stuff.  I was perusing around the internet today (Perusing... that is a great word that I never use, I may have to integrate it into my world.) and I found an article.  It can be seen here.  I think this kind of best describes how I feel sometimes.  I think my favorite part is when the author asks "Why do we have to put a spin on it?"  I totally feel that way!  I mean, yeah, I know I've said some of the things that she says not to say.  I've said them this past week.  About myself.  But I don't really believe them.  My favorite thing though, is how SO many people like to quote statistics to me.  Great.  I know that miscarriages are common.  But honestly, just because Jr didn't get to come visit me in real life, doesn't make him any less real.  I loved him, and he will always be part of my heart.  And telling me it's common doesn't make it any easier.  I mean, really, lots of people have had their mom die.  (I LOVE YOU MOM!!)  Are you going to tell someone that to make them feel better?  "Oh, your mom died?  Well that's sad.  But it happens a lot."  Wow... Feeling so much better.

It's snowing a lot.  I actually like snow for the first month.  The problem here is though, all of the wind!  I mean, really, if the snow wasn't blowing all over the place, there probably wouldn't be that much.  But it's blowing.  And blowing.  As in, we could give Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery day a run for ... his?  its?  their?  Whatever's money.  So I'm not really excited to drive to work tomorrow.  On clear days it's a 35 min drive.  Tomorrow, it may be the drive of eternity.  Pack your water folks, and don't forget the potty break, it's going to be a long one!  (For example, it took Hod 90 min to drive home today... then again, I have mad snow driving skills, so I bet I can blow his time out of the water!!!! ... Not that it's a contest...)

It's late.  And I should be asleep.  And yet I'm wide awake and actually feeling happier right now than I have for weeks.  Apparently exhaustion makes me happy.  Which is strange, cause normally it just makes me beastly.  Seriously.  I'm an ornery tired person.  I also think I would be an ornery drunk.  Which is why we are SO glad I'm active LDS and happy about it.  There is a severe lack of drugs in me.  Well, actually that's a lie right now.  The Dr put me on all sorts of meds.  And I'm taking them.  What is it about a D&C that makes you feel fine for the first few days and then feel like someone has reached up inside of you and is trying to rip you apart using the dullest knife ever invented for the next few days.  Hmm... sharing penalty?

So, I like juice.  We have it a lot.  It's a healthy choice and good for... my insides.  (What, it totally is!)  But I'm strange.  I like cold things.  Milk must be cold.  Ice cream, must be cold.  My pillowcase must be cold.  Juice, must not be cold.  Which doesn't really work, cause once you open it, you have to keep in in the fridge. As a result, every time I drink juice I pour it and then wait 20 min for it to warm up.  It's a hard life.

Hod just accidentally mixed milk and juice.  That's gross.

I'm fish sitting this week.  Hello fishy friend!  (HERE FISHY FISHY FISHY!  I always wanted to go fishing and see if that actually works.)

And on that note... I think I better go bed.  (I almost typed back to bed, and then I realized that I haven't made it to bed yet.  I have issues.)

What Did You Do Yesterday?

Hello friends!  So, since I have brought all of you with me on this little trip, how about I tell you all about what happened?

First of all, I did end up having surgery yesterday.  (What did you do yesterday?)

Let's talk about how I feel about this.
-Negative side:
   1. This means I am no longer pregnant.  I lost the baby.  This is very sad.  Cause I loved this little one.  And besides a few ultrasound photos that made my baby resemble some sort of alien creature, that is all I'll ever have.

+Positive side:
   1.  Heavenly Father has been helping me a lot.  I don't know why this had to happen.  But I know it's his plan. That doesn't stop the sadness, but it does make it somehow ok.
   2.  Growing closer with Hod.  This has been really hard.  Because Hod and I are living in this city hours away from family, we haven't had anyone else to turn to.  So, even though it's been rough, we are closer.
   3.  Being done with this issue.  Really.  I have been worrying, and stressing, and doing everything I could to keep this baby, knowing that there wasn't anything I could or couldn't do.
   4.   *WARNING, BIG SHARING PENALTY AHEAD*   though I haven't been bleeding for the past 3 weeks, I have had what we have named the brown mucus of death.  Instead of blood, this has been coming out.  There are some theories that I at one point was pregnant with twins.  If that is true, I actually had a miscarriage about 3 weeks ago.  And my body has been decomposing Jr. #1 for weeks.  Hence the smell of death coming from me on a constant basis.  Which is really not fair when you have a pregnant nose so every time you use the restroom you smell death.

So, to recap... This has been sad.  But Hod and I both agree that we are glad it's over.  We have been so stressed about all of this for a month.  And now, we're done.

Surgery was fine.  I was completely unconscious.  There were no complications.  I felt wonderful yesterday, I took some ibuprofen last night before I went to bed, because I've been told that the pain comes a while after the surgery.  So I took some just to make sure I could rest well.  There wasn't any pain last night, and there hasn't been any today.  I'm pretty tired, but I feel great.  My mom came up to be with me because we didn't know how I would be, and really, it was kind of like just having a fun sleepover with my mom.  And I had an excuse to be a little lazy.  That's kind of nice.

So dear friends.  I'm good.  I've gotten a lot of comfort from the one true place you can get it.  And life is good.  Thank you for all of your prayers, I know they have helped.  But know that I'm good.  This will all be fine.  I love you all!