Anxiety, Diabetes, Pain, and Advice

Today Hod wanted #1 and I to meet him for lunch. We went to a little burger place and discovered #1 needed a diaper change. They didn't have any sort of changing station. Hod went to change her in the front seat of the car. As I waited for our food he called me in a panic. #1 had MAJOR diaper rash (she had been in the diaper for less than 25 min, I'm really not a major slacker. She had been fine then.) And she had managed to get urine all over the seat. She was actually getting blisters it was so bad. She doesn't have a dr yet so we went to the local urgent care. While there I was in some pretty intense pain. Not labor, but not right. The dr saw #1 and talked to me, telling me I needed to go to labor and delivery.

We called some friends to watch #1 for us and headed over to the hospital.  This is what we now know: I am borderline diabetic. After the three hour glucose test my Dr's nurse called me and told me I was fine. No other details, just "fine". Today I learned that if my numbers had been just one higher I would be listed as diabetic. I'm that close, and you couldn't tell me to limit my hot chocolate? No wonder I have felt so lousy.

Along with this I have "floating anxiety". Basically I am so stressed out that I am hurting myself. This is why I can't sleep and why I am in so much pain. It is bad enough that if I don't figure out how to change something I will have to be medicated or it could harm #2.  Oh, so you mean all the times I tried to talk to my dr about how I was feeling and he quickly told me "your baby has a normal heart beat, you're fine." He was actually wrong? Lame-o. I have been thinking of getting a new dr for a while, and today was the final straw!

After finding all of this out, I talked to the nurse in labor and delivery about doctors. She told me that in an emergency she would love to have my current dr, but if she wanted to be listened to, she would find someone else. So she gave us a recommendation. We asked for the phone number. She just had the dr come in and give it to us. I am very excited to try this new dr! Even just the 5 min we talked I felt like she has learned more about me than my current dr did in a month.  So glad to have a dr I can feel confidence in!

A Letter

Dear #2,

We need to have a bit of a chat.  I know your big sister is amazing, and if you turn out much like her I will be a very happy mom (but no pressure, you can be yourself too!).  However, just because she decided to put me in labor for three weeks does not mean you need to do the same thing.  ESPECIALLY since she started it three weeks later than you have.  Now, trying to rise above and do your own thing is an admirable trait.  This is a time that over-achieving is not something we should be aiming for.  You are not supposed to come out for another 8 weeks.  If you do this to me for another 7 we will be in a fight. I do not enjoy regular contractions 15 min apart for 9-24 hour segments.  We have been doing this for a week now, and I am impressed with your determination and persistence.  But now that I know how determined and persistent you can be would you mind it if we took a break for about a month?  Your big sister is a very active kid.  Chasing her around all day is hard enough while I am almost 8 months pregnant.  Chasing her around all day, getting ready for Christmas, and having contractions all the time is about to do me in!

Also, do you think you could give my ribs a break?  By break, I mean let them have time off from the constant kicking.  I am NOT asking you to break them.  It seems you think this would be a wonderful, and exciting thing to do.  I'm telling you that you are wrong.  Breaking Mommy's ribs is not a kind thing to do.  I know you are a kind girl who wants to make your Mom happy, so please just lay off a bit.

We are very excited to meet you, and for you to join our family.  Just remember these 3 rules:

1.  Stop it with the regular contractions before Mommy goes crazy.
2.  Stay in there for at least 4 more weeks.
3.  Stop trying to break Mommy's ribs.

If you could manage those three simple things we will all be much happier and healthier.

Thanks so much!  Love you!

Your Mom,

Paily

Molding Young Minds

#1 is growing. The top half of our Christmas tree is starting to look crowded as we keep having to raise the low ornaments.

She is also strong. Things are starting to get broken, and the bulk of my day is following her around watching what new items she can reach and destroy today and taking them from her.

She is also determined. Large objects that I can't take away (like the dishwasher) are her favorite toys. The other half of my day is spent trying to help her forget that these objects exist... I'm not very good at it.

These are all great qualities. I just need to figure out how to teach her to use them for good, instead of her current use of driving her mother insane. But man is she cute!

It Had To Happen Sometime.

Before #1 was born, I heard many horror stories of moms hurting their kids while cutting their fingernails/toenails.  Many a mother has cut her child trying to keep the nails short.  I was pretty terrified.  Then I heard from multiple people the easiness associated with biting the fingernails.  With your tongue you can feel exactly where to bite so you don't hurt the baby.  And it worked.  For over a year now I have been biting #1's fingernails, and we have never had a problem.  I have been so grateful for that advice, and grateful for the success it has given me.  It made me so happy to know that I had never accidentally hurt my baby girl.  Today I even decided to try clippers and we still managed to cut her fingernails without any sort of incident.

About an hour ago, I decided that I was going to fix something in my house.  We have Christmas lights up around our main room, because we don't have overhead lighting.  These lights are 2 years old and have been moved 6 times, and have been put up in 4 of those places.  They have been through a lot.  In the past few weeks, half of the lights have turned black and burned out.  We decided to get some new ones a few weeks ago, and haven't gotten around to changing them out yet.  But the darkness is driving me nuts!  Hod has been meaning to help me change them, but he is a busy man.

So, I decided, today was the day.  I got the lights out, pulled out my amazing step stool, and got ready to switch them all out.  I started right above the tv.  I had put on a movie for #1, and here we go!  I climbed up on the step stool, but then had to stand on the TV stand as well to reach the lights.  #1 was holding onto the stool and talking like a cute girl.  As I climbed back onto the stool she started screaming.  I looked down, but couldn't see anything wrong.  She has been a bit ornery lately so I didn't really stress.  I had to get off the stool to move it so I jumped down.  It was then that I realized the stool had shifted just enough to be on top of two of her little toes.  No wonder she was screaming!  I am not a skinny woman.  Oh my goodness it broke my heart!  She cried as I held her, and I cried too.  She is fine.  She is still using her foot like normal, all of the toes bend, you wouldn't even know something had happened.  But I feel so bad!  Yes, it was an accident, but no mom ever wants to cause her baby pain.  Such a bummer!

Love It!

Not long after we moved to our current place, I often found #1 looking at books. (I posted a picture, but I'm doing this from my phone so I don't know where the picture will be.) I love that she loves books!  Her current favorite is to grab a book, crawl over to me with it, pull at many arm till I give her my hand, put the book in my hand and then stare at it expectantly. It is so cute, how could I turn her down? Though I am sick of "Moo, baa, la la la" it is fun to watch her face light up as we read the story. For some reason the last page always makes her laugh a little.  I don't get it, but it sure is cute!